


Process

by talesofsymphoniac



Category: Tales of Graces, Tales of Series
Genre: Demisexual Asbel, M/M, Richass Week 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 13:44:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7535017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsymphoniac/pseuds/talesofsymphoniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Asbel would never hesitate to say that he loved Cheria, or Sophie, or Hubert, and the same went for Richard. In spite of that, or perhaps because of it, it took Asbel a long time to realize he was in love with him."</p><p>Written a while back, posting for Day Three of Richass Week 2016: Warmth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Process

Asbel would never hesitate to say that he loved Cheria, or Sophie, or Hubert, and the same went for Richard. In spite of that, or perhaps because of it, it took Asbel a long time to realize he was _in love_ with Richard. It wasn’t because he was dense or oblivious to his feelings. When he tried to explain it, years down the line, he would say that his struggle was because romantic love was so closely tied to platonic love for him. Realizing he was in love with Richard was a process.

First, there were all the letters. Asbel was never much of a letter-writer. He tried to keep in touch with Hubert and Cheria, but it was something he did when he had something specific to say, like birthday cards or invitations to come for a festival or something. With Richard, letters just came naturally, and every other week, there would be a new letter addressed to him from Dr. Chad Worrin (Richard insisted on using this fake name, supposedly for “security reasons.” Asbel suspected he just enjoyed the glamour of using a fake name).

Then came the realization that Richard was his best friend. This struck Asbel as significant because he had never really ranked his friends in his mind. Even then, that’s not what he was doing, really; Cheria and Hubert and Sophie and the others were all different, and so were their relationships, and none were better or worse than the other. Still, something about his relationship with Richard was simply not the same.

One day, after finally seeing Richard again after a fairly long and busy period, Asbel noticed he  _ looked _ at Richard more than he looked at other people. With fondness, admiration, and even quite a bit of appreciation for his warm amber eyes and the way the light shone on his soft hair. 

And one day soon after that, he and Richard were sitting together, not talking about much, just enjoying a bit of peace and quiet after a busy day. Richard looked at him and gave him a weary smile, weary but grateful, because Asbel was by his side. Asbel realized at that moment that he wanted to run a hand through that beautiful golden hair and hold Richard close. And to his own surprise, a few minutes later, when Richard started talking again, Asbel thought he’d like to kiss him, too.

Even then, he didn’t immediately come to the conclusion that he was in love, or even that he had a crush. It wasn’t obtuseness that kept him from it. It just didn’t feel like that was the right word, exactly. Richard was still Richard, his closest friend. To say he was in love felt like it was supposed to be some momentous change, but it just wasn’t. In Asbel’s mind, Richard was his friend, first and foremost. That label, their friendship, had so much more influence on Asbel’s thoughts and perceptions than Asbel’s slowly dawning attraction did.

There was no one moment Asbel decided he really was in love. The awareness was there by then; it only needed time to grow, to settle, until “I love Richard” and “I’m in love with Richard” meant the same thing.

So when Richard kissed him for the first time, Asbel wasn’t sure which he said; but then, he was pretty sure Richard would have known what he meant even if he’d said nothing at all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for Richass Week 2015, for the prompt "Love bridging friendship and romance." For that, I wanted to use a favorite headcanon of mine, demisexual Asbel. I based a lot of this on my own experiences, but because of that, I worry that it might be TOO personal and not understandable to others. Still, it felt good to write and I feel good about it now. Thanks for reading!


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